Every weekday morning I spend 40 minutes driving my kids to their school in the neighboring city. It’s usually the best 40 minutes of my day. Although there are some quiet drives when we are all still a little tired, most of the time the three of us are joking, telling stories and singing to the music. I’m sure other drivers must look at us like crazy fools sometimes when we are all “breaking it down” over a great song in the car. 

Last Tuesday was no different. It was my 12 year old daughters turn to sit up front. All was normal until there was a pause in the music. It was then my daughter turned to me and said, “Dad, what’s a hooker?” Wow! You can’t see that one coming!

I took a deep breath and jumped into a straight forward explanation of what a “hooker” was. My 13 year old son was laughing in the back seat…I guess he knows more than I thought. My daughter listened with great interest and thanked me for my answer. She said she always wondered what it meant because kids say it a lot at school. 

Now it’s my turn to ponder. I’m sitting there thinking, “Why in the world are 6th graders talking about hookers?” Finally, I decided to ask the question I should have asked before enlightening her on the life of a hooker. I asked her EXACTLY how kids were using the word. She said they talk about it in terms of skipping school. My son laughingly chimed in, “You mean HOOKY…playing hooky!”  She says, “Yea, that’s what they say!”

I just wanted to pull the car over and cry. I was one question away from making a complex, uncomfortable answer into an easy one. How about you? Take your listening to a higher level and before you open your mouth to vomit your wisdom on someone make sure you know the real question! I know I will…next time!

I’ve been fortunate to visit some amazing places in my life. What I’ve found in my travels is that it really isn’t where you are…it’s who you’re with that counts.

Being somewhere really amazing but having no one to share it with can make an amazing place a very dull, forgettable and often times sad experience.  But, when you are with people you care about the “place” you are really doesn’t matter! 

The absolute bonus is when you are with those you love AND in a wonderful place.  That happened to me with my family (Team Edwards) on an incredible train from Innsbruck Austria to Munich Germany. It was just us in a wonderful private car designed for only four people. Even though we saw sights none of us have ever dreamed of, all that really mattered to me was that I was with my family…and noone else! No phone calls, no e-mails, nothing! Just pure quality family time. It was just a bonus that we were able to do it in one of the prettiest areas on earth! 

Remember, it’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with. If I was on that train by myself I would have been bored and wishing terribly I could share it with someone. I realize we all don’t get to ride a train to Germany, but you don’t have to in order to find amazing experiences. Just take some time to turn off all the outside noise such as phones and computers and enjoy your family or quality friends.

Do this! Block out a night that you turn everything off, order some take out for dinner and sit at home and play board games. Not your cup of tea? Then how about going for a bike ride or a walk as a family? It might sound boring but just do it. You’ll be amazed how wonderful it can be!

Everyone wants to be a hero … me included. I got my opportunity yesterday. My family was walking up a fairly steep sidewalk when a woman at the top of the hill decided it would be great to give her three year old a chance to ride down the hill … by herself!  Although the cute little girl could ride without training wheels she was nowhere near capable of surviving the hill she was just sent down. As her speed increased her smile turned to complete terror as she realized that she was going way too fast and had no idea how to stop. Everyone knew it was going to end very badly for the little girl.

Fortunately, we were walking up the hill as she raced right toward us. My son was setting up for the intercept but I knew the impact was going to be stronger than he was ready for. I jumped in her path and caught both her and the bike in one swift motion.  What would have ended in a hospital stay for the little girl ended up just being a little hug from me (and a big thanks from her mom).

What about you? You don’t need to find a runaway bike to save the day. How about going out of your way for someone who is down on their luck and just needs a friend to “care” about them? My wife commits to send one note a week to a friend. All it says is ‘You made a positive impact on my life” and then she goes on to tell them why she thought so. She ends it with a quick “thanks” for being such a great example in her life. The response she receives back is humbling to say the least. Friends have told her that “they needed that in their life more than anything anyone could have said”. Consider them saved! 

Take some time out of your day to be a hero and save someone. It can be as simple as a nice note or a phone call to let them know that you’re thinking of them or pulling over and helping some elderly person mow their yard. There are hundreds of ways to be a hero. Look around for the opportunity. It’s everywhere!

My daughter asked me an interesting question the other day. “Why are most of my friends parents divorced?”

As I stood there working out a logical answer to my 12 year olds question, I realized that she was right … most of her friends, and many of mine, have serious parental and marital problems. What shocked me is I hadn’t really given it much thought until that point.

We seem to have become a society that sees marriage as “optional” versus a commitment between two people till death do us part. As I look around I wonder why we even go through the whole marriage vow process. If we are so accepting as a society to break this solemn pledge then why do we even take it to start with? How about we just go into it with a handshake or a high five and say, “Let’s try our best to make this work?” 

I’ll tell you why…

The problem isn’t the vows…it’s the choice. Let me explain. What I see in my interaction with many singles as well as couples is that their decision-making process was weak from the outset. They fell in love very young and ended up making a lifelong decision for the wrong reasons with the wrong person. They never took the time to seriously consider and evaluate what they wanted in a lifelong mate. They found “quick love” and got married.

What happens next is a tragedy. One of the partners discovers years later that they are sick and tired of the poor choice they made (usually several kids later) and finally break down and file for divorce. The second type silently suffers in a facade of love and emptiness wishing there was “more” in their life than what they have. 

I, like you, personally know several couples living like this. I am helping one friend right now who had his wife walk in one day and nuke her marriage. She found her breaking point and simply said she was done with him and their marriage…and she meant it.  What’s sad is that their two young kids are about to witness marriage at it’s worst. He also just became part of the majority instead of the minority of people in the world of marriage.

I feel so strongly about this I even wrote an entire chapter in my book on this subject. If you’re single, PLEASE take time to research and seriously think about what you want in your lifelong mate. Like the saying goes, “They can bring you 95% of your happiness or 95% of your misery.” If you’re unhappily married sit down and talk about it. Sometimes just honestly sharing your needs and desires can do wonders for a relationship. If that doesn’t work take the time to invest in counseling before you nuke your marriage and your kids as well. 

On one of our vacation adventures, my kids saw some excellent examples of how curiosity can truly expand your ocean of knowledge about others. They also got to see first hand examples of how the lack of curiosity does just the opposite.

We were vacationing at a beautiful mountain ski resort in British Columbia where the cool weather was a wonderful reprieve from the scorching temperatures we had been suffering through back home in South Carolina. One of the great parts of being at a mountain resort in the cool air is the ability to go hang out in the outdoor hot tub for a while. Most late afternoons my kids and I would race down to the pool for a dip and then a soak in the relaxing waters of the hot tub. 

Almost every day there were other people doing the same thing. Because I am a naturally curious and outgoing person, I would always begin interacting with the strangers sitting there with us. After the third visit to the hot tub my kids made a revealing observation about these strangers. They aren’t very curious! They quickly realized that although we were walking away with a complete understanding of where the other people were from, what their names were, how long they were there, what they did for a living, what their plans were, etc., they were lucky to even know where we lived. Not once did one of the other people even attempt to learn more about us…but they were thrilled to talk about their favorite subject…themselves!

My kids have read my book Who’s In Charge of You? and completely understand the subject of curiosity, but it was still enlightening for them to see it in action.

When you take the time to learn about people many times you will find a treasure trove of information. Everyone is connected to someone…and sometimes it will shock you who it is…if you just take the time to ask!

Now it’s your turn. Get curious wherever you are and see how it can change your life for the better!